Write: Jan 29th - holiday

I've been working on this holiday fic again, only basic ideas and a little bit of prose from later in the story. It needs work, the whole idea needs a proper plan!

Write: Jan 28th - Holiday!

No, I'm not taking a break (haha!), I'm finally starting to work once more on my new Skins/Naomily story that is basically an Alternate Universe in which Naomi and Emily meet on a holiday in Spain.

There is a basic plan and strangely enough I've already written the most random section from the point of view of a bar man. I've also written a later scene between Emily and Katie.

It's my first proper attempt (at least, in a long time) at trying to include other characters into the story.

I tend to write Naomily, Katie, their families and the occasional Cook or JJ or Effy. Rarely the others and rarely so many of them together.

The holiday will centre around Emily, Katie, Effy and Pandora being a group of friends who decided to go away together

Write: Jan 27th - In This Life finale

Yes, you're reading that correctly. I've finished In This Life, the final chapter has been posted. The Skins Alternate Universe I created is over.

Unfortunately it ended very open so it'd be wrong not to write a sequel! Oops.

Was always my intention really. There were so many undeveloped aspects of the story and unanswered questions, most of which relate to Naomi's world and how Emily fits into that.

Write: Jan 25th/26th

I've spent the last couple of days working on the penultimate chapter of In This Life, a story that has stayed extremely close to my chest and in many ways has broken me before fixing me again.

I have so much I want to write, so many things I feel I have to say. This story sums up a lot of vision of the world. I dint think you'll ever get another story so personal to me.

On a side note, didn't get as much writing done on the 25th as I would have liked. I found out there's a Skins writing competition, finding that out was like being told your life was worth something. Then I read the age limit, I'm 13 months too old. I was and still am devastated that after two years of writing Skins fanfiction, I don't get this opportunity. I've waited for a writing competition for years.

Write: Jan 13th

I started something new, again. Only this time it wasn't a new Naomily story, or even Skins. It's going to be a piece of original fiction. I'm hoping it'll be of novel length when it's completed.

A couple of days ago I said that if I have no job after March (which I'm expecting not to due to funding issues) then I will write a novel. Somehow today an idea came to me. So far it's a basic premise for the story, the character set up, families, that sort of thing. I need to work out a complete character profile for my main characters and some of the significant lesser characters. Then I can flesh out the story idea.

I'll keep you updated.

Tonight I wrote from the quote "life's a show and we all play a part" from Buffy the Vampire Slayer (the musical episode), it worked relatively well with my main character who will be a confident, bitchy girl on the surface.

I hope this story will progress nicely.

Write: Jan 10th - Nameless

No I'm not writing a story called Nameless.

I just haven't got a name for what I wrote. Nor do I have any details about it for you.

I suppose you could say it's a surprise, a little something I'm working on in the background!

For now, all you need to know is that I wrote 640 words from the point of view of a bar man, who also happens to be nameless.

I'm actually in search of a name for him, but more importantly a name for the leading man in this story. He will be a 'nice' guy, he will be religious, he will care deeply, he will be sensitive, he isn't really that manly but at the same time he's not some poor defenceless, weak man.

Suggestions welcome, answers on a postcard (or in a comment box - pretty sure I accept anonymous ones).

Write: Jan 8th - In This Life chapter twenty-one

I finally sat down to the next chapter of In This Life and after a few moments of "oh my gosh I have no idea where this is going or what I'm writing," I managed to make some much needed progress and even posted a new chapter up on Fanfiction.net as I usually do.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5999648/23/In_This_Life

Read: Jan 8th - The Princess and the Penis (3)

For the third day in a row I've been reading this...interesting...fairytale. When I said it was a free ebook, I realise now that I didn't actually inform you of it's author.

RJ Silver

I found another 'free ebook' by the same author but iBooks wouldn't allow me to download it as 'this item is no longer available', which is a royal shame (get it?).

So, The Princess and the Penis...I don't even know what to say.

I suppose you could say it takes the 'fairytales were originally designed to teach people about sex' a little far. It's not a generally concealed concept, it's starkly obvious. The story is about a penis and an innocent princess.

I won't ruin the "punchline" of the story because I actually didn't expect it and I thought it rather humorous.

So please, whoever you are, wherever you are...this is one ebook you should read, if only for the laughs.

Book can be downloaded from http://manybooks.net/titles/silverrother10the-princess-the-penis.html in various different formats all very suitable for the different devices that exist including good old PCs.

Write: Jan 7th - Sometimes

This has been the third night where writing wasn't exactly top of my list, mostly because my computer hasn't been on making it less likely for me to write properly. So I opted for my ipod to write on.

I asked someone for a quote, a prompt to get me writing and "The hardest thing to do in this world is live in it" was chosen.

So here it is...

Sometimes life is easy; when every traffic light is on green during the one morning you're late for college or when you're surrounded constantly by people you actually like, who like you and you feel like life couldn't get much better.

But life isn't always that way. There's not always time to smell the roses, or toast some bread before leaving the house and there's not always nice people around giving you that morale boost.

And sometimes, sometimes your dad leaves home, your boyfriend gets murdered and you try to end the painful misery that has become your existence. Not your life, only your surviving moments.

Living and surviving are two very different things.

Take Emily and Naomi for instance, living each day as fully as they could. They're travelling, seeing the world after spending years studying. They're making the most of things and doing it together.

Then there's Pandora, always living with a smile on her face and a random catchphrase to make you laugh, internally anyway.

Out of all of my friends, Cook was probably the only example I could think of who was very good at appearing as though he lived life like every day was his last. But like me, deep down, hidden under his skin, he was swimming hard to keep afloat, to survive.

That was how it felt. I was falling, drowning, struggling to breath, all at once. I was suffocating, not only in the overbearing "support" of my mother, but in life. That's why nobody understood.

Everyone else, they lived. They laughed and cried and shouted and screamed all in the name of happiness, pain, excitement and sorrow. They didn't know what it felt like to wonder if that moment, that exciting scream or painful cry, would be the last one they managed to breath before they succumbed to the water.

Some say the hardest thing to do in this world is live in it. Most of them don't know, don't understand. But perhaps, sometimes, maybe they're right.

Write: Jan 5th - Wind

I'm tired, so very tired as I write this. It's amazing what a few hours in a busy restaurant surrounded by people can be. And tomorrow I go to my granddad's funeral...so I'm sure you can understand my lack of desire to write. Firstly because my brain won't work. But I put together a random piece of prose that I can't even process in my head. I can't tell you if it makes sense because I honestly have no idea.

I'll read it back in the morning and let you know my thoughts, but for now, I managed to write. Though it is very short.

-

A tree sits on the top of a cliff, weathered into position as a leaning lady. Alone. A cliff much higher than every piece of land surrounding it. Nothing else can grow in the stark, dilapidated surroundings. Not with winds gusting faster and harder than anywhere else as far as the eye could see. That doesn't stop them going up there, walking along the clifftop until the wind blows their eyes almost shut and their coats tightly around their bodies. They're not used to the harsh conditions, can't cope with the battle between human and nature as they attempt their ascent. There once lay a bench under the tree with a plaque 'For Deidre, a woman who loved to feel the wind in her face.' But even that had suffered from the intense winds and salty moisture in the air. So the tree continued to sit alone, in a world where people came and went with as much frequency as the sun, until one day a man cared little for the strong gales. He laid down a blanket and sat crossed legged in front of the beautiful view. And there he sat, with his eyes barely open as he watched the wind blow the sea towards land and back again.

P.S. It's morning and that made enough sense, yay.

Read: Jan 4th - Short story 'On The Floor'

January 4th

Read: Grl2grl by Julie Anne Peters, Short story 'On The Floor'

I'm so utterly confused by this anthology of short stories. Perhaps I misunderstood the actual book because I thought it was supposes to be full of stories about gay girls. It appears to be more about teenagers - whether they're gay, straight, in love with their teacher or into basketball.

That's right, the newest delight is about two girls (one is definitely a girl and assuming the match is an official rules thing, the other one probably will be too) playing basketball.

Now that concept doesn't seem repulsive in any way and I actually enjoyed it for the most part. There was a section I thoroughly enjoyed but then they overdid it by repeating the style of short, one/few-word sentences. Despite ruining it's main good aspect, I will still share with you part of it. To really feel it, imagine you're watching a game of basketball and one team has the ball, they're moving swiftly across the court, the other team are defending, doing everything they can to get the ball, then they get it back again. It's all quick, speedy and that's how you should read this, to get it's full effect.

The game. Play. Bodies clashing, gliding, sliding against each other. Grunting, groaning, crying out. Keening, squealing, primitive animal sounds. The pungent smell, the odor of exertion and exhilaration. The salty taste of sweat - mine and hers. Slick, sticky neck, arms, hands.

It's pretty attention grabbing.

Luckily I got a short one tonight as I go back to work in the morning, so sleep is a must. Fingers crossed I'll be able to keep up with my resolution while working.

Write: Jan 3rd - In This Life (chapter twenty)

Yesterday I began a new project which I worked on further today, I turned about 350 words into 1250 words. I'm not entirely happy with those words, but I wrote them anyway. That's one of the good things about writing fiction, in my opinion, being able to write, rewrite and rewrite again. It's something I enjoyed particularly about my story Guilt. I spent months doing just that until I'd actually rewritten the start after the rest of the story had been completed, despite it being the very first thing I wrote originally.

Now with fanfiction, usually rewriting can't occur on a full story basis. Sure, while I'm trying to put a chapter together, I can edit it as much as I like. But once in a while I find myself wanting to change things I've already published...which can't really be done if 500 people have already read it.

Part of me has wanted to rewrite my story In This Life(ITL), which, for the most part, I an proud of. However, as writers block took hold of me many months ago, it made ITL harder and harder to write.

You're possibly sat there thinking, what are you talking about? Does this post have a point? Why yes, it does. In This Life, after months of struggles has finally been updated. It may not be the best chapter in the world, I may not be as proud if said chapter as I could be. But mostly, I'm just glad I felt able to write it. Now I wonder if I'll have the ability to write more, I hope so. I really, really hope so.

Here it is: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5999648/22/

Excepting in action!

Yesterday I used the word excepting in a sentence, I wasn't entirely comfortable doing so, but it fit so I'm happy.

"More important, perhaps, than any other person she’d ever come across. Not excepting her closest, most irritating, minutes older, sister."
- How to Fall in Love and Not Die

Read: Jan 3rd - Short story 'Outside/Inside'

January 3rd

Read: Grl2grl by Julie Anne Peters, Short story 'Outside/Inside'

So I'm here again, with another short story from the same book. I haven't blogged the first story because I read it around the time I first got the book. I do, however, after having read 3 of the 10 stories in the book, wonder if I should just read them all. They can't all be as clichéd as yesterdays, can they?!

Maybe they can.

See, I thought it was going well. This wonderful story about trying to choose the best card to send. It was from the point of view of a boy, at least I think 'Logan' is meant to be a boy (I never can tell with American names - today I learnt someone named her daughter Hunter, who'd have thought it?). I read most of the story imagining it was a female, it could have been either, the story didn't specify enough for a gender to be chosen.

Anyway, I'm getting off track. Logan bought a card, it kept mentioning the outside then inside messages.

(Outside) I love you
(Inside) Every day/ every way

That wasn't so bad, I quite like the concept. The build up of buying a card with card messages and details of moments Logan had spent noticing the girl he liked.

Until the end, when we find out it's for a teacher. Talk about a cliché, what an anti-climax.

Now I'm wondering if there's any point reading any more from this book, well, that's story four. Why not try just one more.

Until tomorrow...for now I will read a non-fiction book about counselling children. I wonder if it will be any good.

P.S. Having read the book last night for all of about five minutes I realised that the counselling book was also rather infuriating. I don't agree with most of the things suggested in the chapter I started. That book will be returning to the college library unread, I can guarantee that now.

Read: Jan 2nd - Short story 'After Alex'

January 2nd

Read: Grl2grl by Julie Anne Peters, Short story 'After Alex'

It's all very American. I'm not against US literature but when it reeks in clichés and fakery, it really puts me off. And don't even get me started on having someone play with fire, then another character use that to talk about a sexual fire between the two other girls. Talk about clichés.

So the story is about a girl who was in love with someone called Alex, before the story began she received an email from Alex saying she wanted them to get back together. All very well, but the idea that Alex, who'd been through the process of coming out as gay, couldn't even understand that Rachael needed more time before PDAs. That annoys me.

I appear to have strong issues with this short story. The whole book really. Two stories now have mentioned a Gay/Straight Alliance in school (since they're all set in high school), I should Google that, find out more about if it exists. What I really seem to dislike about the book is how American it is, how PRIVILEGED America it is. Teenage girls going on ski trips on an average day of the week. It reminds me of a romantic comedy where you just know the main characters are loaded.

As I said, I'm not against the book being American but as a British young person I want something I can relate to. I don't relate to pom pom culture full of ski trips and second homes. I relate to honest, well built characters I can actually care about. Yesterday's story felt more real to me, the girl in that was infinitely more interesting. After all, she didn't date someone who dumped her to go back to the ex she dumped to be with her in the first place. What sort of message is that sending out?!

Oh Christ, now there's cutting? If you can't deal with an issue fully, don't even bring it up if you ask me. The idea of that added to the story makes me cringe. That was the only, briefest of mentions. Pointless.

And so the story ends with the girl taking back her cheating ex, yeah, way to go "role models".

I know not all fiction needs to be role model based but I feel something so aimed at teenagers has something of a moral responsibility to represent life in a certain way. For this story there was no message, except don't accept an apology from someone who seems to flit between you and someone else or you'll only get hurt. Actually, that's not the message, it's something I tool from it because I have the maturity to understand that love doesn't mean you're blind to someone's idiocies.

Write: Jan 1st - For Always (The Mentalist fic)

Whilst many people know me as a writer of Skins fanfiction, I also write other things too. I have some original fiction I've created over time and I have more recently started writing Rigsby and Van Pelt stories in 'The Mentalist' fandom.

That's the writing I did today. On LiveJournal there is a prompt community and I signed up to a 20 prompt table. Here is my first ficlet written for the community.

http://community.livejournal.com/mentalistprompt/28251.html

Read: Jan 1st - Grl2grl by Julie Anne Peters, chapter 'Can't Stop the Feeling'

January 1st

Read: Grl2grl by Julie Anne Peters, Short story 'Can't Stop the Feeling'

A story about a girl called Mariah, it's very American and felt in many ways like a cliché of American teenage life. But the concept was important, significant. Mariah isn't just any teenager, she's gay. Not that she'll admit that. Not to the Gay/ Straight Alliance that meets in her school every Thursday at three pm, not even to herself.

Until the day she faces her fear of stepping through the doorway, entering the meeting one Thursday after doing everything to avoid them for about five weeks. Only it's not so bad.

Not only does the lovely sounding Lily (of course made me think Loveless, but with pom poms haha) make for a very possible future partner, she also offers her not just non-judgement but also the gift of time. There's no rush admitting how she feels and that, I feel, is the greatest message to come out of the story.

You don't have to tell people that you're gay, you don't even have to think about it...but when you do, someone will be there to listen, to support you and to help you come to terms with it.